Alexia*

*(from Greek ἀ- (a-), meaning "absence of, without", and λέξις (lexis), meaning "word") is a brain disorder in which a person is unable to understand written words


What if, out of a cosmic joke, the love of my life acquires alexia? 
Well, I do not know exactly what to feel but here's a free verse. 

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I write for you...
or rather, I write for myself
because I am with you.
Every little thing goes haywire
with every smile and every touch,
as if the heartstrings were made to tangle
and the fiber tracts of my brain were made to intertwine;
like how our hands lock with each other
and our arms knot in embrace.

I run from everything that scares me;
all, except for you.
It's always a special case,
that's how you are to me.
From your eyelashes to your toes
how I love them!
How they scare me shitless
for I have never known
that I was ever capable of this much affection.

If, one day, all my words make no sense
then please do look at my pen strokes
for the ink has bled through the pen
to make an indelible mark
a proof of your existence.
Let the empty spaces and the punctuation speak to you;
it's exactly how empty and pointless
my life would be without you.

You will live forever.
In my words you exist eternally.
Your loss of understanding
may be the best thing that could happen;
for, my love, I will put down the pen
look at your eyes and speak.
I will give you each of my breath
searching for words to capture
the vastness and depth of my feelings
I will hold you close to me
so that you may hear the beating
of this poor heart that skips beats
upon hearing your voice.

Darling, the pen has been my best friend
while the paper has been my silent companion,
perhaps begrudgingly wanting to respond
to my thoughts but always unable to.
Love, I will put the pen down
and tear the paper into the tiniest pieces.
All this because your mind and your heart
are the slates that I long to write on to.
Do not read my words,
instead uncover my soul.
Let me undress it for you.