The Enemy of the Best is the Good

So it's Valentine's Day for lovers while it's Independence Day for the single ones.

It's that time of the year again when some girls in full-on make up and pretty dresses hold a bouquet of flowers as if it were a trophy for the whole world to see. They hold their head a bit higher, smile a little more confidently, and there is spring in their step wherever they go. I personally find it beautiful and ridiculous. How that is possible, I have no idea exactly. What I do know is that I find every sort of celebration of love beautiful and worthwhile. Love has this contagious nature that, when expressed, demands to be felt. This is why valentine scrooges feel so nauseated around this time. The ridiculousness of this event is that the 14th of February really had to be designated as Valentine's Day in order to celebrate love when it can be celebrated during the remaining 364 days. What's more, it creates societal pressure to lovers (guys especially) to give gifts to their significant other. The single people make do with each other's company through exchange of gifts, random surprises, and even a night-out together to swim in their own salty tears while wallowing about their lack of a life partner. LOL, just kidding, the freedom of singleness allows one to do anything without having to ask for anyone else's approval (there's the law and your principles, though). My theory is that this occasion was especially created by Flower Shops United, Chocolate Manufacturers Incorporated, and Stuffed Toy Makers Organizations in order to boost sales. Wooh, can you feel that? Yup, it's my blog post getting more political by the minute. Ha!

Anyway, I'd like to enumerate my valentine-related activities this year. It's the first real Valentine's Day celebration for me. The catch, I didn't need a specific person to make everything happen for me!

(1) I sang with CIMphony (our school choir) in front of an audience for the first time. We sang "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" and "When I Fall In Love" before different batches in our school. I'm in Alto 2 and I still really lose my way with the song especially when singing with the sopranos, tenors, and basses. My favorite lyrics are: "When I fall in love it will be forever, or I'll never fall in love".

(2) I received two roses: one from a new friend and another from my dad. For me, single long-stemmed roses or handpicked flowers are just as good as the expensive ones. I do not think that I will ever understand people spending hundreds and even thousands of money to buy flowers. I mean, what will you do with them afterwards? Make tea out of the petals. Right.

(3) I got two valentine cards from my parents and a bracelet from my dad. I love how they always see to it that they give us cards for every occasion on the calendar. Their messages were pretty simple, really, but I know that every word hold so much more. It's always the thought that counts :)

(4) My very good friend sent the UP merchandise via LBC, in time for Valentine's Day. They're now the concrete proof for me to believe that the UP days weren't all a dream. That, and great friendships across the sea.

(5) I attended a talk about marriage with godly ladies who are all beautiful inside and out. I learned from the talk that marriage has no backdoor, no escape plan whatsoever. It is a covenant that ought to be kept forever, "until death do us part". This struck me the most as a woman and more importantly, as a human being. I am fully convinced that romantic relationships MUST HAVE (non-negotiable!) the goal of marriage in the future. If one's vision falls short of that, then it is better to just stay away from relationships in the meantime. 

Thing is, society dictates that a person's value depends on the number of girls or guys desiring him/her. What's worse, there is a premium given to those who slept with multiple partners, as if each person were a badge in that invisible sash of one's so-called charisma. This is why most hop from one relationship to another and engage in casual sex and "friends with benefits". The goal is not marriage at all. Rather, the goal of each fleeting relationship is tasting that "flavor of the month" and bragging about it during the next drinking session.

We are given the pressure to settle for something "pwede na" - someone whom we know isn't the best for us but since that person is available and is willing to feed our ego, we settle. The enemy of the best is not the bad; rather, the enemy of the best is the good. Once we find the good, we forget about the best, thinking that the good is all there is. We get married, thinking that there is always the option of divorce, separation or annulment in case it doesn't work. Except in cases of abuse, I think that divorce, separation or annulment aren't options that one should consider upon taking the commitment to marry someone. When there are fights and misunderstandings, the couple is supposed to give time and space to breathe for a while and then talk before the day ends. The difference here is spelled out with E-F-F-O-R-T. They work things out and manage to get by. It is, after all, "through thick or thin, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part". I don't know about you, but I consider promises as sacred. You swear it on your honor, by the God you believe in, and to the person that you're giving the promise to.

Knowing that marriage has no backdoor honestly scares the shit out of me. I mean, I don't think that I am prepared enough for that. This realization helped me take an introspective look at myself, on how much growing I needed to do. Most importantly, I realized that I do not need many lovers. I need to stop fretting about the lack of a love life. With the way I give my heart (the only way I know how to), which is completely and irrevocably, one person is enough.

For now, it's a very happy independence day for me.

Group 17 of PBL 1 in CIM A.Y. 2013-2014 :)